1. Homesick.
2. Full of delicious spicy cashew chicken with red and green pepper, onion, garlic.
3. Thinking that eating delicious food could possibly be the only way to get past being unbearably homesick.
4. Worried my kids will all fail their monthly tests tomorrow and Friday.
5. Looking forward to seeing some art projects on Saturday afternoon.
6. Wishing there was a cafe in my neighborhood where I could read books and drink coffee late at night. Doing that at home is just not the same. Especially when you have nothing but overhead florescents and folding chairs.
7. Devouring Her Fearful Symmetry at a perhaps dangerous rate.
8. Sad that I've already read 8 1/2 out of 9 of the Murakami books they have at the English language bookstore.
9. Overwhelmed by the list of things I should do to make myself feel less crazy, less burdened, less lonely, more productive, more clearheaded.
10. Proud of Samuel and Minnie for making Honor Roll.
11. Proud of my mama for learning how to email. Yay, Mama!
12. Homesick.
21 October 2009
18 October 2009
Korean TV
This is the commercial that by all rights I should hate, should want to smash/burn/kill, but jeez the girl is cute and I get the jingle stuck in my head almost daily. I know it's evil, but I love it! Even though I don't speak Korean! Or have any idea what it's selling! Seriously, we all know this commercial, and more of us that you would guess secretly can't get enough of it.
I would give you the extended version with more people dancing if the internet would give it to me. CURSE YOU, INTERWEBS!
I would give you the extended version with more people dancing if the internet would give it to me. CURSE YOU, INTERWEBS!
17 October 2009
Consumer Culture
My pants are wrinkled and I'm nowhere near business casual, let alone business business. I need an iron. And some nicer clothes.
***
There are places to buy things every 2 feet here. Socks, underwear, utensils, plants, apples, rotisserie chickens, pancakes, squid jerky, sesame leaves, shower shoes, utensils, peanuts, live clams, fish shaped cakes with bean paste middle... On any busy street are shops and street vendors, on any given side alley, you might find an open air market. I live right near 3 marketplaces (that I know of) that combine tiny storefronts with covered stalls to carry all your daily essentials. The most fun, so far, to venture through is up behind my apartment, on the way towards the little mountain that you'd never guess was hiding back there.
Does anyone know how to get a whole octopus home from the market? Will they cut it into pieces for me if I ask? Or am I just going to have to put it on a tarp and employ several of my beefiest friends to help me carry it?
Not long ago, I ate what was basically brined fish jerky. Snack fish are big here. Along with snack squid and snack octopus.
Chili pepper chili pepper chili pepper. Imagine this many chili peppers. Okay, multiply it by about 15, imagine it in giant heaping piles on sheets on the ground being sorted through by aging Korean ladies. Hello! Welcome to the streets of Seoul!
I'm already beginning to suffer from withdrawal from the taste of chili peppers when I eat anything that's not spicy. Some people complain about the spice, and granted, in can obscure other flavors, but DANG it's exciting to eat food that makes your face go numb. Okay, maybe not for everyone, but I dig it.
***
There are places to buy things every 2 feet here. Socks, underwear, utensils, plants, apples, rotisserie chickens, pancakes, squid jerky, sesame leaves, shower shoes, utensils, peanuts, live clams, fish shaped cakes with bean paste middle... On any busy street are shops and street vendors, on any given side alley, you might find an open air market. I live right near 3 marketplaces (that I know of) that combine tiny storefronts with covered stalls to carry all your daily essentials. The most fun, so far, to venture through is up behind my apartment, on the way towards the little mountain that you'd never guess was hiding back there.
Does anyone know how to get a whole octopus home from the market? Will they cut it into pieces for me if I ask? Or am I just going to have to put it on a tarp and employ several of my beefiest friends to help me carry it?
Not long ago, I ate what was basically brined fish jerky. Snack fish are big here. Along with snack squid and snack octopus.
Chili pepper chili pepper chili pepper. Imagine this many chili peppers. Okay, multiply it by about 15, imagine it in giant heaping piles on sheets on the ground being sorted through by aging Korean ladies. Hello! Welcome to the streets of Seoul!
I'm already beginning to suffer from withdrawal from the taste of chili peppers when I eat anything that's not spicy. Some people complain about the spice, and granted, in can obscure other flavors, but DANG it's exciting to eat food that makes your face go numb. Okay, maybe not for everyone, but I dig it.
14 October 2009
The View
My apartment building, a mere 6 stories with some private golfing (apparently) on the roof, is situated just so in a row of shops and apartments and restaurants and millions of things to buy that one would never be able to get enough perspective to know that there's a mountain. Right there. Take a right outside my front door, a right onto any of the side streets, weave your way up through some hilly residential area (a quaint sight that also seems incongruous in its proximity to our somewhat gritty digs), and suddenly you'll be walking up a well kept path on a modest mountain. To your left will be nearly forest. On your left, a sea of apartment buildings that barely seem real, and public exercise equipment.
I had the delight of seeing women hula hooping and using something like a cross between playground equipment and a gazelle, men praying (on my way up) and drinking and eating fried chicken (on the way down), children catching a bird in a net and freaking out, community spring waters, and an adorable white puppy covered in mud, all on the same walk around our little mountain.
Residential.
Buddhists, not Nazis. Look at those little flowers a growin.'
Mountain steps! (P.S. There are so many adorable cruiser bicycles here. I miss you, bike!)
Here is the pagoda where we were fed Korean pancake and kimchi and makgeolli by some very friendly people eating brunch. Delicious. We need to remember to have brunch there before it freezes.
Past all those buildings! Another mountain! Can you see it?
Cool, fresh mountain water!
I had the delight of seeing women hula hooping and using something like a cross between playground equipment and a gazelle, men praying (on my way up) and drinking and eating fried chicken (on the way down), children catching a bird in a net and freaking out, community spring waters, and an adorable white puppy covered in mud, all on the same walk around our little mountain.
Residential.
Buddhists, not Nazis. Look at those little flowers a growin.'
Mountain steps! (P.S. There are so many adorable cruiser bicycles here. I miss you, bike!)
Here is the pagoda where we were fed Korean pancake and kimchi and makgeolli by some very friendly people eating brunch. Delicious. We need to remember to have brunch there before it freezes.
Past all those buildings! Another mountain! Can you see it?
Cool, fresh mountain water!
09 October 2009
hey, remember...
...how i had that awesome going away party?
J&J gave me beautiful Gerbera daisies (technically, that was several days pre-going away, but still)...
Another beautiful J&J, from Janine's, came out to play (I write in the notebook and/or wear the earrings daily, ladies)...
What these beautiful men are doing made sense in the moment, and that's all that matters...
Scot, loyal 'til the end, hope to see you soon, my friend...
Laura, making an angle...
Mike, drinking BEER!
Tim, Andrew, and Laura, being awesome...
Tim, Andrew, and Laura, being MORE awesome...
No words exist to describe us...
Loungy...
Cue happiness!...
BEN!...
Aaaaaaaaannnd, someone please put me to bed. Thanks, Minneapolis, you are freaking awesome.
J&J gave me beautiful Gerbera daisies (technically, that was several days pre-going away, but still)...
Another beautiful J&J, from Janine's, came out to play (I write in the notebook and/or wear the earrings daily, ladies)...
What these beautiful men are doing made sense in the moment, and that's all that matters...
Scot, loyal 'til the end, hope to see you soon, my friend...
Laura, making an angle...
Mike, drinking BEER!
Tim, Andrew, and Laura, being awesome...
Tim, Andrew, and Laura, being MORE awesome...
No words exist to describe us...
Loungy...
Cue happiness!...
BEN!...
Aaaaaaaaannnd, someone please put me to bed. Thanks, Minneapolis, you are freaking awesome.
20 September 2009
little fascinations
1. Kids in Korea are trained to call their Korean teachers 'teacher,' as a sign of respect for the elders. Teachers at some hogwans are known by their first name combined with 'teacher,' as in 'Tony-teacher' or 'Megan-teacher.' At my school, we use the western style 'Mr.' 'Ms.' etc., but can choose to use our first or last name, depending on our preference. Saying teacher is so deeply ingrained, of course, that even my youngest kids still say 'teacher' every five seconds when they need help.
'Teach-ah, octopus spelling is what?'
2. Knowing literally nothing about Korean grammar, my guess is that either question words go at the end of the sentence or there is just inflection to indicate a question. That inflection is, of course, still necessary in English, and sometimes takes the place of a question word. Working with my kids, though, to get them to practice putting question words at the beginning of a question sentence is not easy. Not easy simply because I'm already so used to hearing the way they construct those sentences that it's starting to sound normal.
'Teach-ah, this is why?'
3. Daily, I hear 'Teach-ah, he is boyfriend?' in regards to any and every male teacher my kids see me talking to. One kid writes 'Ms. Blake *heart* Mr. Wall' on the white board every break time. I wear a ring on my right hand, and my students on Friday asked me if my boyfriend gave it to me. This doesn't cease to crack me up.
4. Lots of the little kids really like to climb on the male teachers during break time, to get lifted up and to see how strong the teachers are. I'll bet all the teachers seem really big, in comparison to these little ones, not to mention the stature of their parents, for the most part. I finally had one kid do it to me on Friday, grab onto my arm to lift her up, so I did, and she was pretty impressed.
'Wow! Strong!'
Yeah, and you way, like, 25 pounds.
5. I have one student who, every time we use crayons to color the pictures that start with a certain sound, reminds me very loudly, 'Ms. Blake, I don't like color,' to which I say, 'I know, Matthew, just write instead.' He always uses his pencil to write the words of each picture, and he's well on his way to being a better speller than some of my 4th grade age kids. I asked him once why he doesn't like to color, and he gave me a very long-winded, complex answer about how colors are too messy that I didn't really understand, so I just let him be.
So, no colors because they're messy, and even better, he hates sweets. One day, when I asked what their favorite ice cream was, Matthew answered, 'I don't like ice cream. I like vegetable.' On the day we talked about favorite foods, most kids said a fruit (which is really cool), but Matthew said, 'My favorite food is vegetable.' When we talk about apples, he talks about vegetables.
Needless to say, I like to encourage his quirks.
6. I was asking some of my students what kind of animal they would write a story about, if they could write about anything.
'Rabbit.' 'Rhinoceros beetle.' 'Shark.'
Tommy's response?
'I like lion and tiger, white tiger, liger, lion, tiger.'
That's right. One of Tommy's favorite animals is the liger.
7. 'Teach-ah, what minute?' seems to mean some combination of 'What time is it?' and 'How long until the end of class?' My standard answer to this somewhat infuriating question is the equally infuriating 'many minutes.'
'Teach-ah, octopus spelling is what?'
2. Knowing literally nothing about Korean grammar, my guess is that either question words go at the end of the sentence or there is just inflection to indicate a question. That inflection is, of course, still necessary in English, and sometimes takes the place of a question word. Working with my kids, though, to get them to practice putting question words at the beginning of a question sentence is not easy. Not easy simply because I'm already so used to hearing the way they construct those sentences that it's starting to sound normal.
'Teach-ah, this is why?'
3. Daily, I hear 'Teach-ah, he is boyfriend?' in regards to any and every male teacher my kids see me talking to. One kid writes 'Ms. Blake *heart* Mr. Wall' on the white board every break time. I wear a ring on my right hand, and my students on Friday asked me if my boyfriend gave it to me. This doesn't cease to crack me up.
4. Lots of the little kids really like to climb on the male teachers during break time, to get lifted up and to see how strong the teachers are. I'll bet all the teachers seem really big, in comparison to these little ones, not to mention the stature of their parents, for the most part. I finally had one kid do it to me on Friday, grab onto my arm to lift her up, so I did, and she was pretty impressed.
'Wow! Strong!'
Yeah, and you way, like, 25 pounds.
5. I have one student who, every time we use crayons to color the pictures that start with a certain sound, reminds me very loudly, 'Ms. Blake, I don't like color,' to which I say, 'I know, Matthew, just write instead.' He always uses his pencil to write the words of each picture, and he's well on his way to being a better speller than some of my 4th grade age kids. I asked him once why he doesn't like to color, and he gave me a very long-winded, complex answer about how colors are too messy that I didn't really understand, so I just let him be.
So, no colors because they're messy, and even better, he hates sweets. One day, when I asked what their favorite ice cream was, Matthew answered, 'I don't like ice cream. I like vegetable.' On the day we talked about favorite foods, most kids said a fruit (which is really cool), but Matthew said, 'My favorite food is vegetable.' When we talk about apples, he talks about vegetables.
Needless to say, I like to encourage his quirks.
6. I was asking some of my students what kind of animal they would write a story about, if they could write about anything.
'Rabbit.' 'Rhinoceros beetle.' 'Shark.'
Tommy's response?
'I like lion and tiger, white tiger, liger, lion, tiger.'
That's right. One of Tommy's favorite animals is the liger.
7. 'Teach-ah, what minute?' seems to mean some combination of 'What time is it?' and 'How long until the end of class?' My standard answer to this somewhat infuriating question is the equally infuriating 'many minutes.'
19 September 2009
full of lightness, full of weight
Lazing the day away, enjoying idleness and some light cleaning, eating a tasty egg-potato-broccoli concoction, drinking cups of coffee, and spending a lovely few hours talking to Ari on Skype after she got home from work. Couldn't quite shake the weirdness of talking to my computer with its built-in mic, no headset or handset or anything, just me talking alone in my room... I'll never stop being thankful for that girl who understands all the best and worst about me and the fact that we will never run out of things to talk about. Thank goodness technology can connect me to the reassuring sound of her voice for free, because I could easily rack up the bills it would previously have taken.
Currently sitting in my digs listening to music, eating spicy noodles and drinking orange juice, candles burning, thinking about going downstairs to get some bleach for my drains (the drains really start to stink things up around these parts), happy to be chilling out, happy to be right here right now.
Last night ended up as a noribang adventure that included teachers from both ends of this crazy city - Joe and Heidi were there with their friend Laura, Shannon, Allison and Bethany from Magnet, and wonderful Lauren, former head teacher of my school. We ate chips and Joe and I sang songs we knew only marginally with much gusto ('Celebrity Skin' and 'Origin of Love'), Heidi got down with some Disney, some ladies busted out some opera, I kicked the ass of 'One Way or Another,' and I got to hear Lauren sing the US national anthem with her stellar set of pipes, followed closely by a lively rendition of 'Oh, Canada.' (Why oh why didn't I take any pictures of this?? Gotta do better with the documentation.)
And then?
And THEN?
(This is the exciting part.)
I got in a cab by myself and I remembered the words my coworkers taught me for right and left and straight and we didn't get lost and then presto! I was home!
I think that's pretty exciting, thank you very much.
Korean vocabulary currently includes: 'hello,' 'thank you,' 'goodbye,' 'beef,' 'right,' 'left,' 'straight,' and 'over here.'
***
As we approach the 4th week of the 1st month, I certainly still have my moments when my emotions overtake me after second graders Samuel and James spend 2 hours making noise, making faces, farting, and generally doing everything they can find to do other than their work. I'm still trying to settle into discerning in the moment what needs to be taken care of and what needs to be ignored in favor of more important things. Though there is no tragedy, no disaster, simply a hard days work done, I am sometimes overcome. Those of you prone to emotionality in this way may understand what I'm talking about, others may not. I'm taking the advice of a friend and allowing a deep breath to precede the moment when the tears flow, and combining it with the advice of another friend who is a bit of a fountain of tears themself, and not feeling guilty about it when it happens. Let it happen if it has to, let it be a release of energy, a catharsis, and at the same time striving to not let the manifestation of my emotions take the place of actively seeking solutions when there's a problem at hand.
Right now, I am thinking that it ends up being less about how I experience emotion, and more about dealing with and letting go of fear and doubt, and just ... being. Just being the teacher that I am, doing my best, not spending all my time worrying about whether or not I'm doing it right, whether I'm any good at it.
(That last sentence, while about being a teacher, really ought to be said about being, well, a person on this planet.)
Anyway, I'm here to do my best, and then to experience a lot more than just working at a hogwan. I'm here to see the world, to meet new people, to become ever more myself, to try new things, and, most of all, to have the time to contemplate all of this. Constructively, not with the circular thinking that often pervades my mind when I'm too busy to sort anything out.
I'm here to put my thoughts into words, on paper or outloud, to voice them and then to be able to keep the ones I need and ditch the rest.
I'm here to appreciate the gravity of life, but to cultivate lightness in the face of it. To not take life so, well, seriously.
Oh, yeah, and I'm also here to spend Saturdays idle in my apartment in Western Seoul, sometimes turning my brain on, sometimes turning it on standby, drinking coffee and breathing.
Whew. Heavy.
The next post will be full of pictures, I promise. And anecdotes about adorable Korean children.
Currently sitting in my digs listening to music, eating spicy noodles and drinking orange juice, candles burning, thinking about going downstairs to get some bleach for my drains (the drains really start to stink things up around these parts), happy to be chilling out, happy to be right here right now.
Last night ended up as a noribang adventure that included teachers from both ends of this crazy city - Joe and Heidi were there with their friend Laura, Shannon, Allison and Bethany from Magnet, and wonderful Lauren, former head teacher of my school. We ate chips and Joe and I sang songs we knew only marginally with much gusto ('Celebrity Skin' and 'Origin of Love'), Heidi got down with some Disney, some ladies busted out some opera, I kicked the ass of 'One Way or Another,' and I got to hear Lauren sing the US national anthem with her stellar set of pipes, followed closely by a lively rendition of 'Oh, Canada.' (Why oh why didn't I take any pictures of this?? Gotta do better with the documentation.)
And then?
And THEN?
(This is the exciting part.)
I got in a cab by myself and I remembered the words my coworkers taught me for right and left and straight and we didn't get lost and then presto! I was home!
I think that's pretty exciting, thank you very much.
Korean vocabulary currently includes: 'hello,' 'thank you,' 'goodbye,' 'beef,' 'right,' 'left,' 'straight,' and 'over here.'
***
As we approach the 4th week of the 1st month, I certainly still have my moments when my emotions overtake me after second graders Samuel and James spend 2 hours making noise, making faces, farting, and generally doing everything they can find to do other than their work. I'm still trying to settle into discerning in the moment what needs to be taken care of and what needs to be ignored in favor of more important things. Though there is no tragedy, no disaster, simply a hard days work done, I am sometimes overcome. Those of you prone to emotionality in this way may understand what I'm talking about, others may not. I'm taking the advice of a friend and allowing a deep breath to precede the moment when the tears flow, and combining it with the advice of another friend who is a bit of a fountain of tears themself, and not feeling guilty about it when it happens. Let it happen if it has to, let it be a release of energy, a catharsis, and at the same time striving to not let the manifestation of my emotions take the place of actively seeking solutions when there's a problem at hand.
Right now, I am thinking that it ends up being less about how I experience emotion, and more about dealing with and letting go of fear and doubt, and just ... being. Just being the teacher that I am, doing my best, not spending all my time worrying about whether or not I'm doing it right, whether I'm any good at it.
(That last sentence, while about being a teacher, really ought to be said about being, well, a person on this planet.)
Anyway, I'm here to do my best, and then to experience a lot more than just working at a hogwan. I'm here to see the world, to meet new people, to become ever more myself, to try new things, and, most of all, to have the time to contemplate all of this. Constructively, not with the circular thinking that often pervades my mind when I'm too busy to sort anything out.
I'm here to put my thoughts into words, on paper or outloud, to voice them and then to be able to keep the ones I need and ditch the rest.
I'm here to appreciate the gravity of life, but to cultivate lightness in the face of it. To not take life so, well, seriously.
Oh, yeah, and I'm also here to spend Saturdays idle in my apartment in Western Seoul, sometimes turning my brain on, sometimes turning it on standby, drinking coffee and breathing.
Whew. Heavy.
The next post will be full of pictures, I promise. And anecdotes about adorable Korean children.
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