19 September 2009

full of lightness, full of weight

Lazing the day away, enjoying idleness and some light cleaning, eating a tasty egg-potato-broccoli concoction, drinking cups of coffee, and spending a lovely few hours talking to Ari on Skype after she got home from work. Couldn't quite shake the weirdness of talking to my computer with its built-in mic, no headset or handset or anything, just me talking alone in my room... I'll never stop being thankful for that girl who understands all the best and worst about me and the fact that we will never run out of things to talk about. Thank goodness technology can connect me to the reassuring sound of her voice for free, because I could easily rack up the bills it would previously have taken.

Currently sitting in my digs listening to music, eating spicy noodles and drinking orange juice, candles burning, thinking about going downstairs to get some bleach for my drains (the drains really start to stink things up around these parts), happy to be chilling out, happy to be right here right now.

Last night ended up as a noribang adventure that included teachers from both ends of this crazy city - Joe and Heidi were there with their friend Laura, Shannon, Allison and Bethany from Magnet, and wonderful Lauren, former head teacher of my school. We ate chips and Joe and I sang songs we knew only marginally with much gusto ('Celebrity Skin' and 'Origin of Love'), Heidi got down with some Disney, some ladies busted out some opera, I kicked the ass of 'One Way or Another,' and I got to hear Lauren sing the US national anthem with her stellar set of pipes, followed closely by a lively rendition of 'Oh, Canada.' (Why oh why didn't I take any pictures of this?? Gotta do better with the documentation.)

And then?

And THEN?

(This is the exciting part.)

I got in a cab by myself and I remembered the words my coworkers taught me for right and left and straight and we didn't get lost and then presto! I was home!

I think that's pretty exciting, thank you very much.

Korean vocabulary currently includes: 'hello,' 'thank you,' 'goodbye,' 'beef,' 'right,' 'left,' 'straight,' and 'over here.'

***

As we approach the 4th week of the 1st month, I certainly still have my moments when my emotions overtake me after second graders Samuel and James spend 2 hours making noise, making faces, farting, and generally doing everything they can find to do other than their work. I'm still trying to settle into discerning in the moment what needs to be taken care of and what needs to be ignored in favor of more important things. Though there is no tragedy, no disaster, simply a hard days work done, I am sometimes overcome. Those of you prone to emotionality in this way may understand what I'm talking about, others may not. I'm taking the advice of a friend and allowing a deep breath to precede the moment when the tears flow, and combining it with the advice of another friend who is a bit of a fountain of tears themself, and not feeling guilty about it when it happens. Let it happen if it has to, let it be a release of energy, a catharsis, and at the same time striving to not let the manifestation of my emotions take the place of actively seeking solutions when there's a problem at hand.

Right now, I am thinking that it ends up being less about how I experience emotion, and more about dealing with and letting go of fear and doubt, and just ... being. Just being the teacher that I am, doing my best, not spending all my time worrying about whether or not I'm doing it right, whether I'm any good at it.

(That last sentence, while about being a teacher, really ought to be said about being, well, a person on this planet.)

Anyway, I'm here to do my best, and then to experience a lot more than just working at a hogwan. I'm here to see the world, to meet new people, to become ever more myself, to try new things, and, most of all, to have the time to contemplate all of this. Constructively, not with the circular thinking that often pervades my mind when I'm too busy to sort anything out.

I'm here to put my thoughts into words, on paper or outloud, to voice them and then to be able to keep the ones I need and ditch the rest.

I'm here to appreciate the gravity of life, but to cultivate lightness in the face of it. To not take life so, well, seriously.

Oh, yeah, and I'm also here to spend Saturdays idle in my apartment in Western Seoul, sometimes turning my brain on, sometimes turning it on standby, drinking coffee and breathing.

Whew. Heavy.

The next post will be full of pictures, I promise. And anecdotes about adorable Korean children.

13 September 2009

15 months later...




... and sometimes all I want in the world is a cigarette.

Weekend

Lost and some bulgogi pizza and a nap and then some ice cream and some more Lost.

Sometimes you just need to stay in to have some fun.

Happy Sunday.

01 September 2009

10 Things I Know on a Tuesday Night

1. We're coming close to the 200 posts mark. Measly, for the 4 years I've been writing at this address. Awesome, because it's a MILESTONE, GODDAMIT.

2. We started class today, with our own classes and everything. Yesterday (Monday) turned out to be the end of the summer intensive, so the three new teachers at our school were in charge of covering the class of a guy whose contract was over. Nice to meet students, totally lame to be in class with 3 groups at the end of the semester, after they've had snack parties to celebrate the end of the semester, trying to play 'games' with them to reinforce school rules. Today was much, much better. Real lesson plans, books, new classes, fresh semester.

I taught a group of kids who are basically between kindergarten and 1st grade level at our school about 's' and 'm,' at the beginning, middle, and ends of words. I discusses families, the calendar, and the words 'meet,' 'pleased,' 'hobby,' 'interest,' 'where,' and 'too' with some 1st grade level kids. All of these kids know more English, and more about everything, than I would ever have guessed. Including the kids who don't want to raise their hands and answer questions. I've already figured out the kids that I'll need work on sitting in their chair (no, not the chair next to you, no, not the desk, YOUR chair), and the ones who don't want to offer up answers, even though they know it exactly. Hopefully I can find some way to get them to sit down/engage them.

Um, also, we played a lot of hangman. Because one of our books for the classroom wasn't delivered today. And hangman is AWESOME.

Tomorrow I teach those two classes again, and add my other class, a 2nd grade level class. The 2st graders were so freaking smart (and rowdy), I can't even begin to guess what will happen with these guys tomorrow. I've heard that one of them always vetoes game time in favor of studying; I've read a couple of her essays, she's clearly amazing. So, tomorrow will be yet a new adventure.

3. I still haven't figured out my zip code. I'm sure you're all dying to send me mail, right?

4. Soju (liquor cheaper than water, good for toasts and numbing your mouth after totally, riotously, righteously spicy food) is also good to pour on bug bites to get them to stop itching. At least until I get to the pharmacy and properly articulate 'mogi' in order to get some sort of tincture.

5. There was an adorable, new, cute little boy who was a. doing the robot or b. being a dinosaur when he was not sitting in his chair today. I only managed to ask him to sit down once, because whatever he was doing when he was standing was so fascinating. Don't get trapped by the cute, dude, just don't do it.

6. I went out to get a drink on break and one little girl gave me a hug for 2 minutes while another held my hand. All while I still got a drink from the cooler. And I had three kids give me a hug who weren't in my class (who I met yesterday), and another 7 say hello to me by name in the hall. These kids are AWESOME. And know how to write and spell. Even if some of them refuse to do it. I hope I can hold up my end of the deal and help them learn more and do good tests and stuff. Yeah.

7. I got a huge bed, but now I really need a mattress topper of some sort. That thing is as hard as my mom's bed, which defies some kind of physics in being harder than the floor.

8. I'm not jet lagged anymore, I don't think, but my sleep schedule is not what it ought to be, that's for sure.

9. I had an adventure on Sunday that included a market, a mountain, makkoli, and a mineral spring. Pictures to follow when it's not so late.

10. Any suggestions for cool/informational stuff I can hang up in my classroom that at different times will house kids from post-kinder to 2nd grade? I'm a little freaked out by how many grammar posters are up right now - that's great teaching, but I don't know if I know what all of it means, which seems shady. Taking suggestions. Alright.

11. How do I get Google to stop being in Korean? Like, completely? Not good enough at hangul for this yet; I'm hopeful that someday...

It's 1 AM in South Korea. I'd probably better go to bed.

27 August 2009

Just the Beginning

We're here, we're here, we're here!

While I was able to sleep most of the way through the flight from Minneapolis to San Fran, I couldn't catch a break but for a 40 minute snooze in all of our 12:25 hr flight to Seoul. Luckily, Korean Air is officially Freaking Awesome. Pashmina-esque blankets, little bags labeled 'for-your-comfort' with socks, sleep mask, toothbrush, and toothpaste, and bottles of water all waiting for us when we got on the plane. Totally respectable airplane food, including a beef-filled sweet bun for breakfast that was surprisingly delicious. And best of all, individual entertainment centers for each seat, with so many movies and music and games that it didn't matter one bit that I couldn't sleep: Adventureland, Sunshine Cleaning, Taken, I Love You, Man, some Stan Getz, a little Thelonius Monk, and (I couldn't get off the plane without watching at least one really really trashy something) He's Just Not That Into You.

Upon arrival, we had a little mix-up with our transportation, but eventually were driven to meet Eric, a really nice, helpful gentlemen in charge of all kinds of things related to getting teachers legally in the country and settled into their lives. He got Todd checked into his co-op (he's staying there til Sunday, and then he'll be moving into an apartment in my building), and then took me to my new digs. Got me set up with a bag full of bedding (need something to make it feel less like I'm sleeping directly on box springs, but at least I have a nice comforter), a bag of kitchenware, and even took me next door to the convenience store to get a few snacks:



Since arrival, I've also received a fridge (important), a tv with cable (for educational purposes only), cable internet (fast and awesome), and a table and chairs (good for grading homework, and for eating, because I've lost my ability to sit cross-legged on the floor for any length of time).

We've only had one day of training out of the time we've been here, at least for my school - we're technically 'quarantined,' and can't go on campus until Monday. So, we've just been exploring, eating things, trying to get around without knowing any Korean. Today we went out in search of converters for our plugs, and ended up in placed eMarket, in a giant complex called iMall, and there found an awesome grocery store (little kids in 'kids-heart-beef' t-shirts in a photo shoot around a giant hamburger, plus pretty much any kind of groceries we might want, including some Western staples), some Baskin Robbins (dude, they are EVERYWHERE here, along with Dunkin' Donuts, Starbucks, and many pizza chains ... weird), and a sweet food court with examples of all of the food in the front so we knew what we were ordering.

I've met some of the people who live on my floor, all of them teachers for the same school, and they were all incredibly nice and helpful: sharing tips, food (nectarines, anchovies), and maps. They're not actually teaching at the same campus that I will be, so I won't see them at work, but hopefully I'll get a chance to see them around here. Tonight, we'll get a chance to meet even more people at a going-away party for the outgoing teachers from our school.

I'm sorry this isn't a more coherent tale, but alas, not much to be done now. This is, after all, just the beginning.

The view outside my window:






22 August 2009

buh-buh-buh-bye....

Travel plans have changed a bit- Minneapolis to San Fransisco, San Fransisco to Seoul - but all four of us leaving on this adventure get to go on the same flights, get to keep each other company over this next long day, over these next many miles.

It's finally here, just hours away.

Dearest dear friends, I miss you already.

And to the friends I've yet to meet - YOU'D BETTER GET READY.

G'night, Minneapolis.

18 August 2009

Monday

...woke up ate cheese took a shower dropped off laura gave elliott his accordion picked up bike sold books bought books about korea bought manicure set watched tv picked up laura tried on clothes with no dressing room at the target remainder salvation army bought some teacher clothes ate cheese puffs watched tv talked to sprint guy about korea drank drinks ate cheese saw beautiful faces had great fun said goodbyes boy i'm gonna miss you smelled flowers tried to order pizza but it was too late...

17 August 2009

... the countdown begins ...

So, it's for real.

Now that I can take a moment to sit down, after the flurry of activity that has been the last many months... I have a visa, I have a plane ticket, I haven't packed yet.

SUN AUG 23
MSP to ORD
MINNEAPOLIS ST PL, MN to CHICAGO, IL
depart 8:40am SUN arrive 9:55am SUN
1hr15min

SUN AUG 23
ORD to ICN
CHICAGO, IL to SEOUL INCHEON INT, KOREA REPUBLIC
depart at 12:35am SUN arrive 4:00pm MON
13hr25min

02 July 2009

teeth and smoke and wings and things

Dear Toothfairy:

My teeth have been falling out in my dreams again. If I put them under my dream pillow, can I redeem them for things in real life? Like the new Metric, maybe?

This morning, in dream Lawrence, I dream smoked a half a pack of dream cigarettes. I convinced myself that 10 cigarettes in a year still counted as quitting. Considering I likely smoked an average of 4000 cigarettes a year when I did smoke in real life, I don't think that logic is really far off. 10 cigarettes = 1/400th the normal rate of smoking.


Should I start a separate blog about my travels, a la Guatestrad, Kevman's blog of yore? Or should I just write on this here blog o' mine, this blog that will turn 4 years old in September? I just thought I'd offer the question up to the blogoverse before making any rash decisions.

Feeling more myself again, after many days adrift on a sea of salt.

LMOD!

25 June 2009

Atonement

Dearest dear,

Let me air my laundry list of indiscretions:

I have gotten behind on all of my bills.
I owe multiple friends money.
I have been taking things too personally.
I have been initiating terse, frustrated conversations.
I have not been answering my phone, nor returning phone calls.
I have not been answering emails, unless they are about the show(s).
I dream of letters, but do not send them.
I dream of hugs, but do not give them.
I can't pay attention to any one thing for more than 5 minutes.
Every time I go into my room to clean it, I fall asleep instead.
All of my white hairs are starting to show again.
I'm so full of pathos it's just absurd.
I don't write on the internet anymore.

Please forgive me for my sins, and I will do my best to get my shit together. At least by the end of the summer in time to fly far, far away.

I adore you.

Love,
Me

01 April 2009

Better Better Best

1. My last post was, alas, a dream I had the other morning while I was sleeping on the couch in my basement inside of two sleeping bags. So, New York will just have to wait.

2. Conversation at 5AM while weighing jars of spices for inventory:

Me: Taste Adventure Split Pea Soup?
Jamie: Yes, definitely.
Me: No, but ... Taste Adventure?
Jamie: Yes, it's an adventure ... You know the part in Star Wars where they're stuck in the trash compactor? Some people would call that an adventure. It's like that.
Me: So, you're saying it's like a garbage adventure in my mouth?
Jamie: Yes, that's what I'm saying. Reconstituted soup tastes like farts.

3. I have a new phone and it's shiny.

31 March 2009

New York City Dreamin'

Somebody has to take a weekend off from ASTRONOME, and I get fitted for their costume just in time for the show to start. Unfortunately, the only thing anyone says to me about what I'm supposed to DO is 'Follow me.'

Luckily, Richard wasn't, for some reason, in attendance at this performance.

I get Brendan to promise to tell me what I'm actually supposed to do before the next night's performance.

I realize I have nowhere to stay while I'm acting in the show. I try desperately to remember how to get to Unoppressive Non-Imperialist Bargain Books, and start walking.

27 March 2009

Laika's Coffin

If you live in Minneapolis, please go to Toy Theater After Dark at the Open Eye tonight or tomorrow. You will be missing a really important opportunity to see some amazing works. (The good pieces were so good as to happily erase all ill will I might have had towards the not-so-good pieces.)

Check this out, alright?

20 March 2009

Tonight!

I will play a song on the guitar in front of people other than the people that live in my house. Whee!

I'm nervous, but I'm wearing cowboy boots, so I feel like everything is going to be alright.

09 March 2009

noodles

Lifting boxes and putting things on shelves all day makes me feel like a noodle. Not a wet, soggy noodle, but an al dente noodle that didn't make it all the way into the pot, so it still has some really crunchy spots.

This crunchy noodle needs to settle into her schedule, take more satisfying naps, get a new set of knees, and feel some spring air on her face. Possibly, this crunchy noodle needs a vacation.

Some Things That Are Good:

Coraline



Thai Kitchen Pad Thai




No One Belongs Here More Than You

09 February 2009

Lesson One



Pacific Natural Foods Hazelnut Milk

I drank some of this at room temperature (serving suggestion is chilled). Slightly chalky, but not as chalky as rice milk. Definitely nutty, a little bit sweet, apparently from a brown rice sweetener. Steamed for a latte, not quite as neutral a canvas for the coffee as soy, but my taste buds are pretty used to soy at this point. Made for a nutty cup of joe.




Michael Angelo's Roasted Chicken Bolognese

The pasta was nicely al dente, and the tomatoes were flavorful. The chicken's texture was a little bit lacking. Not bad as far as frozen pasta dishes go, although I need to remember to put frozen meals in a proper dish if I'm to feel like it's a real meal. Oh, and it was on sale. That makes it taste better.

07 February 2009

Cultural Revolution

Try their vanilla yogurt. Try it by itself before you go adding anything to it. I mean it. Delish.

I need someone who knows me really well to recommend something new for me to listen to. Specifically, something you can burn for me and send me in the mail? Yeah? I need some fresh tunes in my life.

05 February 2009

Food Education

I straightened products in the baking/snack/cereal aisle today, and there are things that I've never, ever noticed, for all of the co-ops I've frequented in my life.

Garbanzo bean flour.
Quinoa flakes.
Hazelnut milk.

I feel like trying everything in every aisle that I've never had before. Even the gross stuff. Just so I know what it's like. So, once I get some money in my wallet, I'm going to enjoy a little food self-educating, and I'll let you know what I try and how I like it.

I think it's going to take me a long time to figure out where everything is, but as far as first days go, this one was pretty good. And I got found a free orange, a free loaf of sunflower bread, a free cookie, and a free Ginger Spice tea bag before I hit the road.

Yum.